POKER SET -- World Poker set value $450

POKER SET -- World Poker set value $450 best offer / trade / swap. 207.843.6096.

Page D3 of the June 30 Bangor Daily News.

Preconceived notions: OK, more of a question: What could he possibly want to swap? I'm going to place a bet and say he went to a World Series of Poker tournament. I wrote an article once about a student who did, maybe it's Max. I'll bet he has just decided to give up on betting. Maybe his wife nags him saying he's addicted to gambling and spends more time playing computer poker than with her. Maybe he realized she's right, he's too old for this. Maybe he'd like to take up something new ... I should give him the bongo girl's number.

After many calls it almost came time to give up. It's an unwritten rule that I stop calling at 7 p.m. so I don't disturb people more than necessary. Also, three hours is enough time obsessing over why people don't pick up my calls.

It was 6:40 p.m. and the movie at cheap seats' $1 movie night was about to start.

"One more call," I yelled at my friends over the riot of Guitar Hero and air hockey. They went on without me.

I sat in the photo booth and pressed redial -- that photo booth you sit with your friends in and make faces at then have one printout of five silly faces which you look bad in, but have to argue with your friends nonetheless to even get one fifth of the stupid print out so you don't forget being silly and looking dumb in the booth that one time at dollar movie night. Yeah, that one. I sat there, alone on my cell phone.

He picked up. I had about two minutes before the movie started, so I asked just two questions.

How did you get the chips?

"I won the lottery."

(Follow-up: Which lottery?) "The Maine State Lottery."

What do you hope to trade them for?

"Something of value."

Not sure if he was pulling my leg or not (which I totally deserve, by the way) I left it at that. A mystery with a not-so-playful ad placer. He won the lottery. That was better than any preconceived notion I might have had.

Also, I'll admit my infidelity -- there was a help wanted ad today that read, "Attendant FUNERAL SERVICE -- TRAINEE-- Call 947-9675. Will handle & transport deceased. E-1, #255, $185, Valid driver's license." I'd much rather have called that one, but it wasn't in the Bargain Hunter's Basement.